For Better or Worse(I choose You)

I accept the fact that even though you are my future, you are also someones past. We both been hurt through previous relationships formed wounds turned to scars. Through the good and bad I take you as you are baby flaws and all. Our souls are connected and our spirits speak to each other. I yearn for your presence every time we're not together. We were both made in the image of God and I'm happy that our trust and commitment is to him first. Every king deserves a queen we make a hell of a team. Our energy runs deep even total strangers can see. You know when to follow and let your man take the lead. Submissive and being weak are two total different things. I know sometimes it just seems too good to be true but what if its fate cause if that's the case then its meant to be.

 I can't lye I get tempted on the daily by the flesh of  beautiful women in  high heels, skirts, tights, jeans or a dress. We both know that their is a difference between love and sex. I may look, but you the only one I'm knocking wind from the chest. I like how we joke with each other...."you go girl" and you say "boy you a mess." When I'm stressing and needing space you not all in my face, instead you make me a drink, rub my shoulders and say everything is gone be okay. You are my partner, my lover but most importantly my best friend, no secrets and if we're beefing we make a peaceful mends.

This isn't some made up fairy tale epic cause nothings perfect. Compromises are made keep our business separate from personal. Our issues stay in house because you and I don't always agree, but know how to sacrifice the you and I for the sake of we. Love is a choice and I choose you not because I have to, but I choose to spend the rest of my life with you. They say its better to give than receive, so here is my player card and my jersey standing on bended knee!

Happy Holidays
Peace & Love

Banana Cream Pie

I remember the first time I had sex and I'm sure most of you do too. It was one of the best feelings I ever encountered and I was eager to experience that feeling again. As I got older I began to understand how my drive for sex from a woman tended to overshadow my genuine interest in a woman. I think men and women use  each other for sex all the time. The difference for me and probably most men is the aftermath of sex, am I still interested  in that woman once I have ejaculated. I must say it has been times when I looked at women after having sex and said to myself what the hell am I doing here. I believe us men are all guilty one time or another of falling for what I call Banana Cream Pie.

Their are two types of women that fall under this category. The first one is the obvious unattractive woman who has a nice body, but is ranked look wise no higher than a five. These women know their not cute and are fully aware that their best attribute is their body. Fellas do not get caught up in the club because Banana Cream Pie is lurking and seeking the drunk handsome guy that she can put that monster on. Men we all know how it goes, the more you drink, the more you disregard what the hell she looks like. This is not someone you would consider being seen with in public so why even get involved with a potential bug a boo. If you find yourself in this situation and you're in the club, bar, restaurant etc. go to a bathroom or somewhere immediately and Jack Off. I promise....you will come to your senses because you will not be pleased with yourself in the morning after having sex with Banana Cream Pie.

The other type of woman are those who range from a six to a dime piece. They believe their beauty should be all that matters like their shit don't stink....I beg to differ you too can be Banana Cream Pie. If you are a woman out in public and has the audacity to be wearing that damn head scarf on your head that you sleep in. (Banana Cream Pie) If I see you out anywhere in your slippers. (Banana Cream Pie) If you are out in public wearing thong flip flops with socks on. (Banana Cream Pie) If your bare ass cheeks can be seen hanging out the bottom of your skirt while walking. (Banana Cream Pie) If I see you spit in public like a dude...I'm straight. (Banana Cream Pie) If you can't hold a conversation without every other word being a curse word. (Banana Cream Pie) If you out with your kids and your clothes clean, but your kids clothes dirty and raggedy.(Banana Cream Pie) If you are a beautiful woman, but ratchet with no common sense. (Banana Cream Pie)

The moral of the story is we as men must start choosing a better quality of woman. I would rather take a 6, 7,8, or 9 with great potential before I take a dime who has nothing else to offer besides her physical attributes. I can take a 6 who is confident and takes pride in herself and mold her into a redefined dime. Even though her looks are just average, she acquires bonus points for her undeniable character and just needs a little inspiration...........Me!

Halloween Unmasked

"Trick or Treat smell my feet give me something good to eat. If you don't I don't care I'll pull down your underwear". Remember how Halloween used to be...getting dressed up and then you and your friends would go door to door, neighborhood to neighborhood trying to get all the candy possible. We had some of the best costumes and really tried to play the character we were dressed as. Now days kids don't even dress up, the streets aren't as safe, but the tradition continues every year. There are other traditions that are being celebrated by our youth and adults now. One in particular is Gay Pride Weekend. I actually had the opportunity to attend this event for a documentary I'm filming that will be released late 2014. This celebration is a week long event to celebrate unity, visibility and self-esteem amongst homosexuals, lesbians, bisexuals and trans genders. Its one of the oldest pride parades in the U.S and was established in 1971. I didn't realize how huge of an event this was until I actually moved here to Atlanta 6 yrs ago. Everyone is dressed up in different characters it reminds you of Halloween. Atlanta is now the 9th gayest city in America, but guess who is number 1....Tacoma Washington......could have fooled me! Atlanta is flooded with gays and lesbians. This sexual lifestyle is becoming more and more socially accepted. I never been to a city where men stare at you more than the women do. I also never imagined I would see the day where I am in competition with women for other women!
People are coming out the closet willingly and unwillingly from celebrities, athletes, ministers to known politicians. Let me make myself clear I personally don't have a problem with a persons sexual preference whether its by choice or susceptible circumstance. I believe long as you happy with who you are that is all that matters everyone is not going to like you anyway. The definition of gay is to be happy so be that without inflicting your lifestyle on others. I have some concerns I would like to address to those living this lifestyle who try to recruit others through deception or prey on our innocent youth. Gay men stop trying to cover up the fact that you're gay all signs point to it: your walk, your behavior, hand gestures, the way you speak and the conscious effort to prove to everyone that you're not gay. (Unmask Yourselves) These are the guys I don't respect and I will be quick to check your neck if I have too! Don't try to befriend me with phony pretense knowing malice is in your heart to hopefully catch me in a vulnerable state. (Unmask Yourselves) To the lesbian community....I'm really good with the fems...it just puzzles me how you want another female that acts like a dude. Wouldn't it  make sense to just be with a guy, but it is what it is. Studs, some of you got the game twisted....remember you can borrow a man's swag, but you still have a female makeup so act accordingly. Please don't think you stronger than a man trying to protect your fem from being hollered at. (Unmask Yourselves) Since you dressed in character like a man I'm a treat you as such. Make sure you check your female before you dare and run up. Stay in your lane I would hate to have to 10 piece you up. (Unmask Yourselves) Finally the most disturbing is how our youth is being preyed upon and recruited. Parents beware, I witnessed this first hand by teaching in the classroom for 10 years. You have to not only take precaution with various adults who may have influence on your child, but the kids are just as bad recruiting early as third grade. They are using tactics and methods that I fond astonishing during my research. This is an ongoing epidemic and we must be aware and educated on what's going on in our schools, communities and today's society. To whom it may concern: (Unmask Yourselves)

The M Word

What's so interesting about the M word. It supposed to be a joined union between a couple who agree to sworn vows before God. The M word that I'm referring to is marriage. Now I'm not married, but from what I hear it can really be a beautiful thing. "Nothing is perfect (except God) you learn to compromise and work through your problems together." This is quoted from a couple that was married for over 35 years and who truly adored one another....my parents. So what's happening with our generation where the divorce rate is higher than its ever been in the last 25 years. 75% of married couples are predicted to be divorced within the first 10 years of marriage. These statistics raise deep concern and have people second guessing if they even want to get married.

 Now some women may say that us men are just scared of making a commitment. I will say women you all have a great point it can be scary or intimidating, but more than just the norm of settling down with one person for the rest of our natural lives. Men, we are taught to protect and provide, so just the thought of feeling inadequate or feeling the fear of failing is crucial. Its not that we cannot step up to the plate, but feeling comfortable enough knowing we put ourselves in a position to succeed in our marriage. We understand it will never be a perfect time, however how we make our money, how much money we make and a plan to sustain is imperative. Women you are always ready, not saying you don't have pressure....its just a different kind of pressure: girl you getting older, don't you want kids etc. I think people's intentions to get married are good, but we tend to marry for all the wrong reasons for ex: Don't do it thinking things or a person will change. If it was bad before he, she or it will only get worst. Don't do it because you have a child together and don't want to see another man or woman raising your child. Don't do it just for the sake of saying you're married like you're checking it off your bucket list. Don't do it if you single, still chasing and you enjoy being a hoe. You will only become a married unfaithful hoe. People kill me taking their ring off when they go out like you can turn marriage off and on like a light switch. People get married and then find out they don't want the responsibility that comes with the marriage. Men and women don't get caught up thinking that you will miss out on something or the grass is greener on the other side. Remember you are always going to see someone that is equally or more attractive than your husband or wife. Getting married shouldn't be the end of the road, the thrill is gone and the fun times are over. Its supposed to be a new beginning that you are going to share with that special person, growing and exploring life together. I don't think couples go into marriage expecting it to fail, you're hoping and praying at the alter that you're making the right decision. I know marriage is meant to be forever, but sometimes relationships just run its course and expires. I am a firm believer that you can fall out of love with a person the same way you fell in love with them. There is no blueprint to follow for making a marriage last. I personally believe the things you did that made that person want to marry you is the same excitement needed throughout the marriage. Make sure you're sincerely in love with the person that he or she is and that you can tolerate their good, bad and ugly before you say I do. For all the happily married couples that still exist...Peace onto you and may god continue to bless your union!

Relax, Relate and Release (Day 31)

Throughout this experience of being celibate for 30 days really open my eyes on the value of sex. This was perhaps the most difficult challenge I have encountered mentally. I was able to keep my mind off sex by exercising, reading and keeping myself busy. I learned how to play chess and improved my ballroom skills on the dance floor. Despite all the activities I had in place, my craving for sex intensified halfway through the journey. I think it was the fact of knowing I couldn't have it or release even if I wanted too. Temptation was everywhere, so we all had to avoid things that were associated with sex: alcohol consumption, what we watch on television and what we read. I was able to get through my day, but it was at night when it was time to sleep that frustrated me the most. Remember we were not allowed to please ourselves, so getting comfortable without your hands in normal positions made it tough if you know what I mean. I became seriously irritated and found myself counting down the days for this challenge to be over. I come to the realization that men and women need each other and shouldn't be withholding sex to prove a point or as a substitute to avoid discussing issues or problems in a relationship. Sex is a connection, chemistry and pleasure between a man and woman. It is not a punishment and shouldn't be used to hurt one another. We must satisfy each other sexual needs no if, ands or buts about it. I'm pleased with the outcome of this challenge and would like to thank everyone who participated. Here are a few responses from those that actually participated and completed the challenge:

Anonymous 1 This challenge helped me with buckling down to get goals completed. I thought this would have driven me crazy, but surprisingly enough I got through it. I got to spend some quality with my wife that did not include sex. She is just glad it is now over

Anonymous 2 I have a summary for you Rashaan don't come up with no more shit like this! LOL

Anonymous 3

My apologies I didn't have no Internet I was changing providers but I want to give a good report sir. The past 2 to 4 weeks now has been very cleansing without the added pressure as mentioned before. I truly have a mentality of carrying this beyond 30 days I'm focusing on allowing this to become of a long-term lifestyle change. It has personally made me feel more purified on a spiritual level!

 

Anonymous 4

The journey was fulfilling as we increased our mental and physical restraint against the flesh. Disciplining our minds that sex isn't a priority, but a sacrifice of self-control. This was definitely and experience to remember, but so glad its over. Now I can relax, relate and release.

 

 

Peace!

Tales from A Hook, Line and Sinker

If you have ever been fishing or watched fishing on television, then you are familiar with this terminology. If you don't know you may want to ask someone that knows, its not very difficult to understand. Fishing is actually considered a sport where fisherman get paid for catching certain types of fish or the largest fish. Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose, but its all part of the game. We all play games because its a part of life and if you've just figured this out you are already losing!

Copyrights by trishrags



Women say men play too many games, but needless to say so do they. Women believe that 90% of the men who approach them are just trying to run game. It hurts me to say this fellas, but I must admit they are absolutely right. Let's examine this further as I breakdown the HOOK, LINE & SINKER.

A mans' first line of attack towards a woman of interest is the(HOOK),stare, aka the bait. If we stare at a woman and get her to stare back for anything longer than 3 seconds we got you. This is a part of the body language signal we send to get your attention in hopes that you bite. Women are fully aware of this strategy and show their disinterest by not staring back. When women stare back its an open invite hoping we come over and introduce ourselves. This is where the women play the game just on the receiving end. Fellas if you out with your woman, date or wife and she entertains the stare from a man, leave her immediately.The same rule of thumb applies to us men, if its more than a glance ladies, let him go. Remember the stare back tells us its potential and if she/he wasn't with you currently she/he would holler. This shows no respect for your partner, no self-control and ultimately you may be a  hoe. Women do not like to be perceived as thirsty, loose or desperate, so normally they won't approach a man because its considered unladylike. However, the more aggressive woman will initiate the stare and that's her way of  sending subtle hints and clues.

Now that you have her attention its time for phase 2 the conversation.(LINE) At this point for us men its all about being cool, charming and not saying nothing stupid. Fellas you do not get this far to drop the ball so stay confident and  focused. Always act like you been in this position before even if you haven't. You can have all the looks in the world but without the mouthpiece it means nothing. Now I'm sorry I cannot give you guys the words or specific things to say because the game is to be sold not told. I will tell you this, no matter what you say the mission is to get the number and getting the number is half the battle. (SINKER)Now that you see she is interested your job isn't complete until you follow up with the phone call to meet up. This is where you began to make the determination if you want to just play with your fish or do you want to take your fish home to be cleaned and seasoned. (I like my fish fillet)

My name is Rashaan and I approve this message!

Helpful Tips When Going On A First Date

copyrights: Brooklyn Bridge Baby

 

The dating game has changed tremendously over the years. People can now find their supposedly perfect match online through the numerous dating sites. (SCARY) I personally like the old fashion way of meeting a person face to face without any prerequisites of a particular profile. Here are my helpful tips to consider when going on a first date:


1. Do not pick your date up from their home and do not let your date pick you up. You may advise your date of the time, place to meet and the dress attire for the occasion. This allows you to see if your date has transportation and if the date is a disaster you don't have to deal with the awkwardness of driving him/her home. In addition, you don't know if this person is psycho or deranged, so why tell this person where you live. Also, never tell a person where you work. You can tell he/she what you do for a living but never give out the exact location.



2. Think outside the box when it comes to making plans for you and your date. Don't settle for the typical date of a dinner and a movie. Its the safest move true, but dare to be different, creative, spontaneous and adventurous. Keep in mind a date doesn't always have to be at night. Have a breakfast date over a bagel and cappuccino and then take a nice walk in the park. You can do a brunch with mimosas (women love these and fellas their actually pretty good.)You can go miniature golfing or visit an art museum where you can still talk. You can have a picnic with fruit, chips, dip and sandwiches or whatever you like, but be sure to have a backup in case of inclement weather. All of these ideas are fairly inexpensive for a first date. I don't understand why men try to overly impress by spending alot of money on someone you just met and may not ever see again. That's utterly ridiculous!

3. The purpose of the date is to see if you have things in common. Check to see if your personalities click and make sure you ask the necessary questions: What do you do for a living, what do you like to do for fun, what are your interests and hobbies, are you married, gay, how many kids do you have(the one on the way counts), what are your intentions to have fun or looking for a serious commitment. Please feel free to add to this list, but be careful not to overdue it because you leave no room for conversation on the next date if all goes well.

4. Remember its the first date so each person will be bringing their best representative. This is who he/she wants you to think they really are so don't get too excited. No one wants you to think they are abusive, stalker, possessive or flat out crazy.



GOOD LUCK!!

The Fighting Temptation (12 days left)



Day 8: was  rough, I haven't gone this long without sex. Since I was at work there was no temptation, but I took some time and played with my son after I got off of work to get sex off my mind.
Day9:I exercised before work to get rid of some excess energy. It was an OK day.
Day 10:I was really losing it yesterday until a medical emergency with my son, CJ happened
Day 11:The urge was starting to build but thanks to some overtime, I was able to manage.
Day 12:Took sometime to relax and spend some quality father son time with my son, CJ.
Day 13:Yesterday was tough but I got through it. Did a little exercising to get rid of some excess energy.

Day 14:Yesterday wasn't hard but I don't know if the wife can last 2 more weeks.

Day 15:This would be the easiest day of the challenge. I was so sick sex was the last thing on my mind.
Day 16:No urges on this day because I was sick.
Day 17:Had a family day since Tiara was off. Cj kept us occupied so thinking about sex wasn't an issue.
Day 18:Exercised in the morning to work off some energy that was building up. I worked all day yesterday to keep my mind clear.
Anonymous 1

Day 8-No complaints
Day 9- Was pretty awesome I went and met up with a close friend for dinner and
drinks. It was great to as my father says “to put eyes” on him, he and I talk almost
daily so it was great to connect in a different way then being on the phone. He
has participated in a challenge similar to this 2 years ago and he went 4 months
celibate… so I keep trying to tell myself if he can do 4 months then surely I can do 30
days. The struggle is real.
Day 10- I woke up having had the most amazing dream about sex!. Wishing it wasn’t
just a dream…
Day 11- What happened to last weeks enlightenment? I feel irritable, reckless
and punished. I left my phone in my friends car and won’t be able to get it until
tomorrow. I need to phone a friend and at least air out my frustration out. Thinking
about sex….

Day 12- was tough….

Day 13- Equally tough as day 12. Today I realized how much this challenge has affected me emotionally. I’ve probably gotten into it on some level (big or small) with just about everybody close to me. I’ve been a not so nice person, walking the line of a full on $&*#@. Day 14 I have been stressed because I realize that my several project and plans I have for my future have changed dramatically and now I have to establish the back-up plan. Thought about again falling off the challenge but decided to move onward.

Day 14- I feel indifferent. I am still somewhat emotional but feel a little bit more physically and mentally aligned compared to earlier this week. Today was pretty awesome, I got a lot done and left the day exhausted.

Day 15- I’m cool. No struggle.

Day 16- Still cool. Back to normal.

Day 17-Feeling normal. No woes
Anonymous 2

 

Day 8- I was cool no urge

Day 9- I'm still focused working out

Day 10-I'm getting weak sex is on my mind heavy

Day 11-I had a very rough morning but felt much better after my cardio workout
Day 12- I had a great day my mind was occupied with work and other business ventures
Day 13- Good day today I went to play ball for the first time in 6 months
Day 14- I'm too sore to be thinking about sex Epsom salt bath is all that's on my mind. but at night before I went to bed was tough. restless night temptation was trying to get me.
Day 15- I'm very irritable today, starting to feel like I'm punishing myself by not getting the relief I'm used too. I'm about ready to quit!!
Day 16- I'm back focused feeling good and ready to get through the next 2 weeks.
Day 17- I was extremely busy with work no problems.
Day 18- Feeling real good getting ready for my fantasy draft I been researching all day
Anonymous 3

Heads and Tails 2 (The Chase)

I believe everything began back in the day when we were kids. The girls would be outside playing jump rope, hop scotch and hula hooping. The boys meanwhile, being knuckle heads were trying to show off in front of the girls. There was a game we all liked to play called Hide Go Seek. In this game somebody had to be (IT). (IT) would close his/her eyes and count to 10 while everyone else would hide. The objective is to make it safe to base before being tagged. If you are tagged you are (IT) in the next round. Well somehow, someone came up with a twist to this game called Hide Go Get Em. same concept, but you needed girls in order to play this version of the game. All the boys would count while the girls went to hide. Whatever girl was caught that boy got free dry humps with clothes on from behind. The girls had several boys trying to catch them, so they could actually get dry humped multiple times before she reached base. I know sounds terrible right.....LOL

Copyright: Artisticco

Girls knew then that we liked tail and their parents didn't make it any better when they would say "get your fast tail in this house and leave them nappy headed boys alone." Women were programmed at an early age that all boys are trying to get the special prize between her legs. Men we are hunters that stay on the prowl looking for an opening to attack. We holler at women no matter the time nor place, just give us an opportunity: Grocery Store, Gas Station, Bus Stop, Social Security Office, Mall, Club etc. In most cases we only going to the club and other events to see what women are going to be there and who we can catch that night.

Fellas remember a man is always trying to get at your girl or your wife. This includes some of your homeboys who will try their hand if your woman lets him. If your homeboy can get at your woman she never was yours in the first place. You can't be mad at your homeboy he only displaying his manly instinct to seek, conquer and destroy. It is your woman's obligation to check that shit on site and inform you about your foul a## homeboy. A woman can never tell me she went out and not one man tried to holler. Fellas if your woman ever tells you this sh#t, she is a d### lie. How dare you insult my intelligence by not being real about something I already know. Women get what us men call d##k offers everyday. All men aren't being nice to you just for the sake of being nice.. Men rarely get offers and if we do it must of been our lucky day. Women love to be chased don't get it twisted, sometimes its just knowing that she still got it. Men love to chase tail, its about the thrill of the kill. DOGS VS CATS WE LOVE THIS GAME!

Celibacy 7 Whole Days

This first week was a cake walk for the most part. I mean most people can at least go a week without sex. I had my moments of temptation, but I was able to overcome by working out and staying busy.  I am learning alot about myself and others participating in the challenge. Im focused and feeling extremely motivated about the weeks ahead.
Anonymous 1
Day 3

Wednesday was not bad, I was too busy to think about sex anyway

Day 4 there was no temptation today but then again I was too tired to do anything, anyway.
Day 5 This was by far the hardest day yet. I almost cracked under pressure but I kept myself busy and I got through it
Day 6 I kept my self busy and focused on other things today. I can really feel the urge for sex starting to build. I have my routine worked out so I can focus on the challenge.
Day 7 Today was a challenge. It took some discipline to get through today, but I got through it without cracking under pressure. I'm proud of myself
Anonymous 2

Day 4- All week I’ve been running around trying to get my long to do list completely and I was getting really overwhelmed. I think it took the wisdom of my co-worker to really get me to calm down and realize that I can and should take my time and not get stressed. I eventually relaxed my scheduled and took the time and had dinner with a friend and kind of catch up with my thoughts. I think I was so consumed with my business and getting my household in order that I did not realize that I hadn’t taken the time to really deal with thoughts and emotions for the challenge. Throughout the week I would have short, random and intense moments of frustration but quickly disregarded the thought and focused on the new. As I was driving home from dinner my thought process has shifted somewhat I think a lot of the anguish and concern for the 30 day challenge has settled and is now minimal. I can say now that I am proud to be taking part in the challenge and I have noticed that I feel more aligned spiritually.

Day 5- I went to work. Got off early. Found an amazing dress. Met up with a friend and went thrifting. Made an agreement with a friend following my 30 day challenge… Eat Dinner. Spoke with a friend while heading and reflected on the further gap developing spiritually in our friendship. Disappointed. Arrived Home. Took a shower. Went to bed super early- exhausted. Thoughts of any sexual need or want was minimal.

Day 6- Crazy, stupid and at times lovely.

Day 7- Emotional…. super emotional but needed. I woke up this morning super emotional a lot of things changed for me yesterday and today I dealt with the aftermath. Over the past 2 days God has answered a lot of questions and cleared out a lot of things that were troubling me. It’s crazy. What started as a low morning ended with a moment of grace. I think challenges like this allow you to faithfully hand over an aspect of your life with no idea or expectation of what you’ll get back in return. I can say that just within the last week that my life has shifted around more than it has in the last year. My way of thinking about the direction of my life as well as my relationships have all seemed to shift in one direction or the other. I’m going to end this entry with “God I get it.”
Anonymous 3

The week has been smooth thus far I've been keeping my routine of work, gym, and of course being a Father. Just keeping the perspective of preservation with this challenge has really opened up a new mindset seriously. It feels great man knowing that pressure isn't there to be a "MAN" from the standpoint of what most women think of us I'm looking forward to finishing this challenge strong and continuing even after wards!
Anonymous 4

Celibacy (The First 48)

 

To prepare for this challenge all participants including myself are required to exercise daily, choose a novel to read and incorporate a project that each person wants to complete by the 30 day deadline.

 

Let's check out how everyone is doing thus far fighting the sexual temptations in the.............

FIRST 48

 

 

First day was easy I worked 12 hrs so I wasn't even thinking about it...I was tired as hell. I know it will get harder tho especially for me cause she hardly ever wear clothes when we at home....smdh lol

Mandell B.

Today was easy, there was no real temptation. I need to figure out a work out plan, because the ps3 will not get me through this alone. First day done on to the next one.

Day 2 was good too. The urge has not set in yet. There was a little temptation but not enough to distract me.

Cory S.

Day 1 was extremely easy, I had no temptation and I began my workout of 100 push-ups and 100 sit-ups. I'm preparing now for tougher days ahead.

Day 2 I did encounter some tempting thoughts today, but I was able to fight it off as I entered the gym and began transferring energy into my workout. I had another tempting thought while watching television and I realize even more now, how things we watch on television has such a impact and influence on our minds. So I will be paying attention to what I'm watching during this journey because sex sales and its everywhere!

Rashaan M.

Day 1 of the 30 day challenge was cool. The thought if slipping up really hasn't crossed my mind but I'm sure this will be a long journey.

Day 2
Now today is a whole different story. I'm like a kid whose mother says you cant do something and you wanna do it to be rebellious! Now today is my birthday and I cant even do nothing. No bday sex! WTH! My partner is cruel to even schedule this during my birthday. All these offers have come across my phone and I cant even respond. Smdh. Somebody is going to get it when these 30 days are up!!
James M.

Day 1 of the 30 day struggle...
I would like to first start of saying that I fully recognize that I need to change my mindset because I have an attitude. Although the larger part of my is happy to take on the challenge of being celibate for 30 days there is still a part of me that doesn't like the idea of giving up something that brings me joy and happiness. Part of the challenge we have been advised to read a book (still need to find a book), work on a personal project (need to figure that out too) and exercise. I did yoga today and definitely helped to center me and ease away most of my tension. I am sincerely interested in what this challenge will be bring about and what new I will learn about myself.

Day 2 has come and gone and I think my attitude has adjusted to indifferent. Today was a super busy day and my thoughts of the challenge were far less infrequent then they were yesterday. I had 2 friends tell me that they thought of me and my challenge throughout the evening, 1 considered taking on the challenge. I do think it's pretty cool that the dialogue has already begun and we are only on day 2. I think the rest of the week I should be okay as long as I keep busy. Um I need to still find a book to read and I have decided the relaunch of my Ebay store will be my special project. I ended the evening with a friend sending me a picture that was meant to throw me off my 30 day challenge (I'm not going to go into details of the picture) and although i found myself staring at the picture longer then I should have I remain strong and focused and ready for day 3
Whitney R.

I can honestly say I appreciate you bringing this challenge to the table sir as a man we always are faced with temptation from women on every front at the store, on our jobs, even at church I've always desired to implement this activity in my life being a single man now. These first 48 hours have been refreshing having a mindset that I'm keeping it clean and everything in between!
Deondrea B.

Men Celibate 30 Day Challenge

Fact or Myth? A man thinks about sex on average every 7 seconds. This is a myth, there is no substantial evidence from researchers that support this theory. I do however, believe that sex crosses a man's mind several times a day. How often do women think about sex? I believe women think about sex just as much as men, but women place more value on the emotional connection. Some men & women just like the act of having sex. These are the people that are obsessed and fascinated with seeing themselves penetrating a women or in a women's case being penetrated. Others actually enjoy the fulfillment of feeling relieved after having sex. Its also used to heighten the intimacy in a relationship, relieve stress or it can bring the souls of people closer together.

I will say when it comes to holding out without having sex, women are much stronger than men. My only concern is when women start feeling like they don't need a man to be satisfied sexually. Women can go months without having sexual intercourse with a man. I understand you have toys, dildos, strap-ons etc, but its nothing like the real thing. I'm starting to feel that us men are under appreciated by women. We don't ask for much: feed us, f##k us, give us head frequently and hand us the remote to the television. I cannot speak for every man, but I don't like asking for head or sex. I like for a woman to just know that's a man's need and offer it. You never have to ask men do we want it, just make it available and accessible.

Women come up with all kinds of reasons why they don't want to have sex. I'm sleepy, my head hurt, my stomach hurt, I'm not in the mood, I don't feel good. The only acceptable reasons are a medical condition and her period, but pay attention to the cycle cause they will use that s##t on you too. If a woman is pissed off at you, its not even a conversation if you will be getting some. She will just get in the bed with a long sleeve shirt and jogging pants. We know then not to ask or try because its not a chance in hell you will get some tonight. Men, women want us to accept this, but I say enough is enough, their p---y is no more important than our d--k. (REAL TALK)

• Its time to regain the power that women have stripped from us.
• Its time to remind women that they need us just as much as we need them.
• Its time for women to show better appreciation for the good hardworking men
• Its time for women to recognize the significant role we play in conceiving a child
• Its time for women to understand the pressure of just being a man and facing the world everyday is stressful.

I'm challenging all my men to stand up an join me in the Men Celibate 30 Day Challenge
This means no sexual intercourse with the opposite sex for 30 days.

Beginning August 12th- September 12th 2013
It will be therapeutic for the mind, body and spirit!
I will be providing daily tips, activities & suggestions to get us men through each day.
Men take your places and sign up below with your name and email.
Please feel free to leave a message should you have questions, comments or concerns.
THIS HAS NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE..... LETS MAKE HISTORY MEN!
 WHO WITH ME??????

Deadline Aug 11th @ 11:59pm

Heads and Tails

We all have standards & preferences when choosing a man or woman of interest. Women can be very detailed with their preferences, depending on what that woman really likes, determines her attraction to a man. Some women prefer handsome, tall, dark skin, light skin, athletic build etc. I've actually had girls tell me "Rashaan you are very handsome and I would give you some if you weren't so skinny." This was back in my younger days of course where you ladies at now LOL! The ideal man must meet that woman's physical standard in order to even be considered. Presentation is everything, how you dress and carry yourself makes the difference between having swag and being lame. Women love swag and just so I'm clear, swag isn't taught its either in you or its not.

Copyright: Conrado

A woman knows from the first time she meets a man if she is going to offer him some tail. Its never a matter of if, its just a matter of when the opportunity presents itself. Now men, we are very visual when it comes to woman, so our standards are similar, but slightly different. Most men don't care if you tall, short, light, dark, ugly or cute, just make sure that woman has some tail! Don't get me wrong some men are into nice legs, breast and flat stomachs, but a woman knows if her wagon is dragging a man is going to holler at her, regardless of how the rest of her body may look. No disrespect to the women, but think about why you see so many unattractive, uncomfortably built women with nice tails....pregnant. That woman put that a## on some man and at the end of the day we figure its all the same when the lights go out.

Men have two heads while women have one head and one tail. We as men have been chasing tail for a longtime, but tend to make bad decisions when we don't use both heads in dealing with women. My grandmother once told me god rest her soul, "A mans biggest downfall in life is a woman's a## and a liquor glass". BBD said it best "you can't trust a big butt and a smile that girl is poison." Women know we love some tail, so they use that hairy or bald headed monster between their legs to their advantage. Women can giveth and women can taketh away. Fellas we must be stronger and remember what looks good to you isn't always good for you. We can't give in every time a woman tries to mesmerize us with the tail. Women need to be told NO, feel rejected sometimes and understand that their tail is no more important than our head.

 

Friends With Benefits and Living Together Can It Work?

Let's explore the definition of Friends with Benefits: Two friends who have a sexual relationship without being emotionally involved. Typically two good friends who have casual sex without a monogamous relationship or any kind of commitment. This sounds good on paper, but there are a few variables that everyone tends to ignore. Controlling your emotions is a very difficult task, despite the ground rules and guidelines that should be in place, the more time you spend with each other the worst for both of you in this situation. Both people need to treat Friends with Benefits like a business partnership. Rule #1 We are hooking up to have sex and sex only! There is no dating, courting, no movies, picnics, walking in the park, going to plays, concerts, comedy shows or going out to dinner. The only thing allowed is having a few drinks or smoking whatever your preference if needed, before you indulge in sex.

Rule #2 No Love Making: no gazing into the eyes, massaging, rubbing feet, no kissing, but you may kiss the body, no cuddling after sex, holding hands and no spending the night. However, in this case where you live together please have your own room....so fellas don't give in and let her spend the night she got to go. Rule #3 Discipline, this rule is extremely tough because your mind has to be right! Listen I don't care how good the sex is never ever ever say the words I LOVE YOU. Try not to say anything that makes him/her believe its more than sex and there could be a possible future between you two. Fellas treat her like your home girl and ladies treat him like your home boy. Keep the relationship in the friend zone at all times, feel comfortable talking to other women or men in front of him/her remember you aren't committed to one another. Go out on dates and don't feel like you have to conceal info. If he/she asks let them know you're going out on a date. This gives confirmation and is a constant reminder that its nothing more than the hot sex between you.

If either party catches feelings, a decision must be made to either end the sex and remain friends or try to be in a committed relationship period. So I'm not saying living together as friends with benefits cannot work, but please believe you have your hands full. The sex alone attaches unexpected feelings and emotions even though its just physical. If you want a chance of this working stay focused on following the rules, be honest and treat the situation for what it is.